The inner writer – 10 days of writing 5

Hello sweet peas,

We’ve reached the half way point! (Yes, I know well done me) and I think you’re about to witness me become the most expressive I’ve most likely been, here you go….

Fears – No spiders or horror films. What actually truly scares you in which brings out human emotions? What does it make you fearful? How do you confront it?

Fear has been a big topic up in the old head of mine recently, I’ve come to realize it’s a constant thing I and most of us all have to confront.

Really when you think about it we over analyze and worry with our fears day in day out without realization because they are soon overcome – like crossing the road knowing if you don’t do it safely you could be hit down, yet before you know it you’re happy on the other side.

Now despite loving my blog and my article writing I do love a dabble at fiction writing and recently I’ve been working on a fictional story of two best friends and their journey through anorexia. I’ve set it up like a diary like form, where they both communicate and express their feelings. Strangely, yesterday I actually wrote a diary entry based on fear – yes it is based on my character but obviously I an relate, so I want to share it with you expressing my view on fear.

Fear, I believe isn’t a sign of weakness only a showing of strength. Yet we all continue to fear and no matter how big or small, we continue to believe it leads to all points of negativity. I am trying to view it differently never the less, as just maybe these concerns actually strike the inner demons in transforming me to an actuall hero.

We fear an awful lot throughout this disorder and it’s recovery. It actually supplies you with enough of the stuff, that you could never possibly dream of running out, lucky us right? Not. It’s daunting, draining and an extremely dismal position to face – I can assure you that. So much that everyday through your forcing of survival, you still fear and will continue to fear. It’s like playing fire with fire – you just get a much bigger fire.”

You can let fear bring you down and destroy you or you can take it to your advantage in making you a stronger person. For me it’s truly facing all of them voices that tell me I can’t or I shouldn’t and proving them wrong, it scares the living hell out of me, but the grass has to be greener on the other side.

Have you ever heard the quote “Feel the fear and do it anyway” – it’s one of my favorites and one I most certainly try to live by. It’s also a wonderful book written by Susan Jeffers, in which she writes about ways to face life and deal with fear in may of ways. She uses techniques to face negative thoughts and turn them into positivity, allowing us to strive for what we want.  It’s helped thousands including myself, so I’d highly suggest you go check it out,

71XyBdemItL._SL1172_

Let me know what you think,

Keep smiling and I’ll speak soon,

Holl xxx

 

Advertisements

The inner writer – 10 days of writing 3

Hello sweet peas,

I’ve made day three, (round of applause? I think so)

I like day three, as I’m one of them strange people in life who get attached to the silliest, simplest of things, so here you go..

Possessions – What is your most prized possession? Why do you value it? How did you come across it? 

To be honest I actually have quite a few of these, I mean don’t we all? These little things around us – big or small, that when we stop and realize, we establish they actually mean the world to us. I never believe it to be wrong, if it makes you happy I’m all the more for it- with even the silliest of things from something down to treasuring a bloody fork…. Okay maybe that does sound slightly abnormal but hey you get my point.

Anyway I’ll stop my blabbering; I’ll give you a few of mine;

My first and most important is a hippo soft toy I’ve had for god knows how long and yes ironically he is called ‘Hippo’ (I was a creative child, honest!) We all get attached to a teddy at least once in our lives (admit it) but we grow and it most likely gets thrown to the bottom of the car boot sale box buckled up for his departure. Yet as sad as it sounds, I’ve never once been able to bring myself to part from the little fella, and most likely never will. He has been here there and flaming everywhere. Every holiday, trip, car journey, hospital visit, operation, illness and sleepless night (I’m a huge kid, shush) he’s also heard every secret, problem and worry and if he could actually hear…. He’d be gobsmacked, haha. He holds a lot of memories and happy times for me, which is always nice to recall and know he holds all them little gritty bits. Obviously I’m not as obsessed with him as I used to be, yet I know I still couldn’t go on holiday without popping him in my suitcase. I mustn’t be the only one still prizing a soft toy like this…. Surely!

I also have a weird attachment to bracelets and ankle bracelets and it got that bad that when my favorite one snapped I burst to tears. God knows why! I think I just got so used to them being there, they became a comfort which I guess felt safe. They also show places I’ve been and things I’ve seen, collecting them from around the world, they act like a human memory box. Us humans have funny way of working, don’t we eh?

I do apologize but I’m going to point out the obvious with this one and claim my bed because god I love that place! Don’t we all? Yet recently I literally treasure that place as if my life depended on it. Every night for the past week I have reluctantly collapsed into bed and admired falling into the pillow and within five minutes I’m gone. At least that’s one good thing in my life, ey, I’m a great sleeper.

The last thing I most certainly have a bizarre attachment to and possess over is actually a song. If you know me you’ll know that I’m the biggest Marina and the Diamonds fan, I seriously adore that woman and her music and she holds my one of my favorite songs of all time – Lies. When I saw her perform this song live it had me done, I was in sobs, purely because I love it so much and ever since it’s always felt like my song. I’ve never even properly related to it, I just feel so attached to it and god knows why however I do tend to feel like that towards plenty other of her wonderful creations, such as Obsessions and Power and Control. Don’t get me wrong, anyone can love her of course, but they are my songs okay? 😉 haha.

Most certainly a night I want to re-live

Most certainly a night I want to re-live

So there you go some of my weird and wonderful possessions and values in life but hey they make me happy! What are some of yours? Are they just as weird and wonderful? I’d love to know!

Speak soon,

Holl xxx

 

The inner writer – 10 days of writing

Hello sweet peas,

I have something a little new for you! So lately I’ve actually been bursting to the seams with fictional ideas, jotting things down and continuously finding myself inspired from my surroundings and the people around me. Any writer will tell you that when this occurs it’s the most fantastic feeling, the never ending possibilities your single mind is making, letting you create whatever you wish.

With all this inspiration, I thought I’d use my writing in doing a little challenge in helping me and you discover a little deeper into myself through life and as a writer.

Branding – What word best describes your personality? How does it affect you as a writer? How does it perceive you?

I’ve always found this hard, I mean how can we describe ourselves? without being negative or extremely positive?

One things that probably does say a lot about my personality is I hate the idea of actually being ‘branded’. As I’ve grown and studied people, I’ve realized that constantly day in day out all we ever seem to be is labeled, like we should all be in our own little groups following these silly rules. Rules to ‘fit in’ and I guess up to some extent feel and be accepted, leading to trying to constantly please every single person around us because that will make us happy right?

I’m very opinionated towards this and I guess you could then state me being a little bit stubborn (or a lot)

That’s me – stubborn because If I have a point to make or something to prove, I’ll back it until there is literally nothing left to prove.

Lately, I lot of my fictional characters have reflected me quite a lot and most of the females I create are actually rather moody and stubborn, opps. I’m not trying to say I’m a complete downer because another thing I most certainly like to portray is smiling.

So the happier me would claim to be the biggest smiler in the world, again something one of my most recent characters is known best for – her smile. I was once shopping and some lovely lady who reminded me of my Nana came up to me as I was browsing the shoes (of course) and claimed how my smile literally lit up the whole room, and how nice it was to see a young girl so genuinely happy. I’ve never forgotten this and I think something to wonderful as that to be noticed for, is quite frankly better than any other thing in the world.

20140705-100710-am.jpg

It’s good from time to time to think of how you actually perceive yourself and recall on how you actually are as a person. Like sometimes my stubbornness ruins so many chances and opportunities – so I’m most certainly working on that.

Speak soon, (Well tomorrow ;-))

Holl xxx