Power in your hands

“You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway.”

I’ve been thinking a lot about control recently. Control over little day to day things, control over myself, my actions and thoughts, and control over my own life and how really we can actually make it what we aspire.

For a long time I’ve grasped on so tightly to the fact that for the past 6 years of my life I’ve had no control over all of the life changing things that have happened – some bad and of course some good. Yet they’ve influenced me in so many way that from time to time I really wish they hadn’t. Throughout recovering from an eating disorder, I’ve come to realize that the whole aspect of it is based around control, and with myself it portrays my frustration in the lack power I’ve had over the years. My eating disorder and food is the only thing I think I have control towards, so I dropped into it completely as a comfort in making me feel whole.

This is why I wanted to share this quote with you because I absolutely love it. ‘You were never in control anyway’ and guess what? that’s perfectly okay! I once loved the evil sense of control but don’t be fooled because that quite frankly turned into yet another thing I lost control of. Meaning it’s time to let go and to sit back and accept that these things happen throughout life beyond what we wish – and that’s perfectly okay. I now always keep in mind that now matter what struggles I’m being faced or daunting changes I cannot determine face me, that very soon some brilliant, fabulous and exciting new experience will conquer me.

As I’ve begun to move on, I’ve also realized the lack of people in which I depend and turn to because guess what? I’m surviving on my own. The power is finally in my hands and I have the whole entire world to explore and conquer.

It’s good to be positive right? Have a fabulous day.

Speak soon,

Holl xx