Simplicity

Flickering of eyes,

Palms led to palms,

A ‘good morning’ sleepy recited,

Skies full of wonders,

Clouds showing candyfloss traits,

Effortless fallen locks,

A sunlight seeping through,

Crisp in Summer’s losses,

Gains for the Autumn tones,

falling past your beloved scarf keeping in your warmth,

Smelling of loved cooking,

Apple crumble done best,

Wholeness from the heart,

Your lips against delicacy,

Strings played gently,

Fingertips upon curves,

Silence through reassured smiles,

White shirts as fresh as a clear blue sea,

buttons messily undone,

sliding off the silken shoulder you simmer upon,

Bed sheets we sink down into,

Smells of Christmas flooding the happiness,

Led to a falling path of enjoyments,

Toes between the sheets,

Comfort in a hug,

hugs in mugs,

Warmth from over-sized jumpers,

Crashing of waves,

Ears flooding of your most loved sounds,

The smell of you home after a time away,

Your words through care,

Your promises,

leaving me content,

the stars we see upon a dark, clear sky,

Pointing, hoping, dreaming

Wishes made,

little children still at heart.

Laughter that echos through the deepness of your belly,

Aching through happiness,

Your smile as you observe each inch,

hiding away from the world with each trust in me,

the falls we make,

the risks we take,

Simplicity surrounds me,

I find it in you

I hope you are all well,

Speak soon,

Holl xxx

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Conflictation

Hello Sweet Peas,

I’m feeling extremely positive today and everything seems to be on the up. So firstly if you just happen to be having an awful hour or one of them days where only the bed seems appealing, I want you to stop for a second and smile. Take a huge breath and remember the world around you is still turning and you are still living and tomorrow is a brand new fresh day. Make the most of it! Do something new and exciting, do something that scares you or something full of spontaneity.

I was stuck in what to base today’s blog post around so, I thought I’d share a little poem with you as recently I’ve been writing more and more poetry and really seem to enjoy it.

Conflicted Thoughts

I don’t want to be caught
In a vagueness of my own insecure haze,
When I grow and my veins purposely entwine,
Logically older and minding fault.

I refuse to continue in the threatening hope,
That miracle shall fall upon,
That I am a specialist,
When I fall down to nothing, in the simple act of breathing.

Humanity overwhelms me.
Steps,
Walks,
Breaths,
Sound,
Forcefully supply me with and average sense of normality, I endlessly refuse to aspire.

You refuse to believe the demons I hold, Believing I’m a saint with no fault,
Do you feel the deceiving pierce?
When the world sees you with purity?
And you know you are scolded with blinded ashes at the core,

Endlessly attempting to accept emotion
That seethes from all,
Yet you prefer the opposite,
You don’t expect clarity, Love, Want,
Only ever craving its persuasions.

Pushing slowly to dismiss the truth,
You fail to control.
I’ll control each particle,
I place through the lips claiming for admiration,
The normal act upon us all day to day,
Finger tips to mouth.

I’ll control the purpose and meaning you have in each hour, because I can.
Protection.
Stopping the hurt you’ll supply me with.

Humanity does this,
Its dishonest perceptions,
And humans? We act it best.

That’s why I am fragile yet as cold as sharp icicles, Coming on the world’s tragic end.
You cannot come close,
I do not believe,
So I strike and melt and fade,
So you no longer have to observe my obsessive ‘phase’

Speak soon,

Holl xxx

Something a lil different

Hello Sweet Peas,

I thought I’d dive in with something a little different today because despite my love for my fashion and day to day posts I’m still shamefully a writer and take into account I write anything and everything. One thing I do admire is poetry, yet I usually keep this quiet and share with no one, it’s top secret 😉 However I could go on and on about the stigma towards poetry and in what people perceive it to be. Poetry is practically everywhere songs, speeches, lists, even to the little things you jot down thinking they fail to mean anything and yet we fail to realize it because most idiots think it’s on the lines of “the lazy cat spent his whole day on the mat” (I know that’s an awful example but you get my point okay!…)

Anyway, lately I’ve been reflecting an awful lot and trying to grasp my head around so many different aspects of my life, which only means one thing – I write an awful lots of thoughts and poetry if you like. So I thought I’d pluck up the courage to search for something I could share with you all. (Plus it changes up the blog a bit ey?) Enjoy.

If acceptance is all that is left,

then I shall,

I shall grasp it with both worn shaken hands,

until they cannot possibly connect anymore.

 

Palms shall only burn,

As I have discovered on my paths the hard way,

that this is a ‘cruel to be kind’ matter –

a state that can only be undone through the given strength of determination.

 

It shall fall upon me,

the day a reflection ends all control towards my dis-formed mind.

I shall float down the winding street, with not even a reassuring check,

from the shoppers windows that once suffocated me.

 

Looking,

there should be no need for your fragile fingertips

to disgustingly grasp

the itty gritty parts in which you have self taught in hating.

 

You deserve sparkles of more than falling tears,

more than screaming echo’s,

which appear due to your thighs size

in the pinching of your own skin.

 

In’s and outs, ups and downs from a souls and enlightenment of fires,

fires we should accept the warmth within,

not fights that continuously burn deep,

leaving it’s blinding ashes behind scattered to haunt us.

 

It is taught to embrace ones beauty,

yet involving a voice in which contemplates,

the hazed lines between lies,

and the truth.

 

Speak soon,

Holl xxx

 

 

 

BLT

I represent a BLT, And,

This is why you don’t

Let your words pour out

Spill out, leak out even if ever only so slightly-

Even if only a glimpse is to be shown

Because even at the level of ever so slightly they can be captured,

Seen into, experienced and treasured.

And if that to be the right person?

I do not know.

This is why you keep them close

Locked away and with barely a look in,

Your feelings, your words, your thoughts.

Layers and layers

Locked away as if it were a blt sandwhich.

Because what man doesn’t love Bacon?

Keeping it ever so precious as you feel if you didn’t

The lettuce would crinkle and the tomato gone dry

And that is when you take one bite and come to decide

Enough is enough and you simply put it aside.

This is why when you grasp, hold and admire me – I don’t want you to see.

The bits that will crinkle and the parts gone dry

Because once you are trapped you’ll have nowhere to hide

You’ll get bored and simply put my parts aside.

Because you despise the lettuce.

And emotions and feelings they all come with a cost

That by opening what all is yours

Is as a risky as a sandwich in a lunchbox?

Stereotypically this is what you may want

Not the crinkle in my elbow or the dryness down my spine

But the serving of a sandwich made with hands which are mine

This poor sandwich is a representation of what I believe,

Because looking up close are my feelings you’ll never see.

The crust is hard nut,

 just  like inside of my bones,

When everything is aching yet I strive and venture to carry on

Going deeper with in the bread gets softer

And this is my skin

Hiding what is I

 This will seem scary

We know carbs can be!

Yet its actually filled with delight and surprise with what the world refuses to see

And going in with the bacon you love but are supposed to hate

You knows good yet bad and you can’t keep away

Is my hands and the weak spot behind my fragile ear

You can’t help but go near

The tomato like blood rushing through my veins

Pumping and rushing

Spluttering just

To prove I’m alive.

To prove I’m okay.

Yet the lettuce is boring, yet some may say,

This represents my body which I’ve grown to hate

Yet you love the lettuce

And I’m glad you do.

It’s your favourite part

With its crinkle and its curves and its edges that burn

Because despite the greatness of the skin and the beauty

Without the lettuce it simply wouldn’t be blt.

Without the ins and the outs

The ups and the downs

The wrongs and the rights

Greatness and frights

My body wouldn’t be me.