A Week in photos (1)

Hello Sweet Peas,

It seems recently I’ve abandoned and left the blogging world (I know, I know you are distraught by the matter) I’m actually rather annoyed at myself as we all know that my blog is my pride and joy but hey I’m back!

I’ve also been stuck on what to actually come to blog about as for so long I’ve wanted to do a favorite/haul/autumn type post, yet when I come around to actually write them, the haul is out dated and it’s half way through the next month… opps…So I’ve sat down all snug with my autumn blanket and mug of green tea (yes, I can confirm Autumn is officially here) and have actually took the time to write a post I’ve been wanting to have a go at for ages and considering it’s Monday, it was the perfect chance.

It was actually inspired by the lovely Jacqueline who’s blog I absolutely adore and regularly sums her week up in just a few photos. I love reading these posts and think it’s an easy, interesting way to liven up your blog and talk about daily life, so I thought why not give it a whirl. So here’s a little bit of what I’ve been up to the past few weeks;


1. Christmas Feelings – Eeeeeem, the past week I’ve been feeling super duper Christmassy and yes I am aware it’s only just turned October but hey Christmas songs are completely acceptable right now right? But because of the sudden wintery change in weather I’ve finally been able to pull out my new fluffy, Christmas snude, which I must add has been an absolute life saver.

2. Nandos! – Yes!!! Would you ever believe I finally went out for a meal and opted for Nando’s, which may I add is beyond the best tasting food I’ve had in a long, long time. I actually cannot express how proud of myself I am for even considering a meal out in public and it took a hell lot of guts but I am beyond glad that I did. It’s little steps like this, that allow me to realise the huge progress in the long run. Plus, how can I ever deprive myself from the Nando’s peas ever again???

3. Halloween love – One of my favorite Autumn traits is of course Halloween (It comes a very close call with Christmas, dare I say…) however despite my love actually doing something for Halloween is long over due. So this year I demanded I do something and i all I can say is a little black dress, killer red heels and sparkly devil horns have been happily purchased… 😉

4. My new love for Weight Lifting and Recovery – This one is actually a bit late as for nearly two weeks now I’ve really took a huge step in my life into recovery and getting healthy. Two weeks ago I opted in a Personal Trainer, starting with a consultation and my god seeing the fact laid out to me was a massive shock to the system and I’ve decided massive changes need to be made. I’ve always loved my fitness and always wanted to start weight lifting, one of my biggest inspirations being Francesca Fox, who used Weight lifting to recover from anorexia. I kind of see myself in her and hope I can follow her foot steps. So, in the past 12 days I’ve began training and I can only hope that things from here improve.

I hope you enjoyed this little different post, and I think I shall be doing plenty more! What have you been up to the past weeks? I’ve missed you all but I shall be back.

Speak soon,

Holl xxx


The Silence

Standing motionless alone in complete tranquility. The shivers overcoming my spine from chilling droplets one would usually find to be comforting, the way of a wind down from a hectic 24 hours. I beg to differ as the sense of the cold relieves tension built from within, rather than the burning reminders of whom I am. I focus on the numbness that suddenly overcomes me in repetitive shivers. Breathing in and out with ease forcing my mind to phase over a peace, finger tips graze the curves and sharping edges as my mind is rapidly distorted. I search for acceptance. Suddenly falling in my trembles through each step, I phase in and out of a realization of reality. Like a dream the silence begins to swallow me, water droplets transforming into the ocean and each and every particle drowns away.  A tightness is risen in my chest and my aims to block out doesn’t reach any accomplishment, I feel as if the tapping of the tap echos louder, as the walls trap around me. What you’d find peace and ease in this normal, daily action, I discover a striking break down of screams. Terrorizing me as if I were melting I’d still leave the self hatred behind. I hope for the lingering to reach it’s halt, washing away through my own mind.

What you really are

You’re the gleaming sunlight,
Through the half discovered window,
Upon the hazy summer morning.

You’re the glimpse beyond his lustful eyes,
When he observes and admires,
The beauty her smile unconfidently holds.

You’re the worth of words of wonder,
As when the little girl you once were,
Cherished her parents every movement.

You’re the genuine laughter,
That sparks right beneath your belly,
Leaving your muscles aching from joy not forced upon.

You’re the glamorous little black dress,
You use to protest your edges,
Your curves,
Reflecting your beauty for hindering eyes.

You are allowed to float through happiness,
Life’s natural features,
That are supplied around you in and out.

The fooling of the haze,
Should not blind the glimmer of hope,
Into that the smile isn’t worthy and the laughter not quite loud enough.

Something a lil different

Hello Sweet Peas,

I thought I’d dive in with something a little different today because despite my love for my fashion and day to day posts I’m still shamefully a writer and take into account I write anything and everything. One thing I do admire is poetry, yet I usually keep this quiet and share with no one, it’s top secret 😉 However I could go on and on about the stigma towards poetry and in what people perceive it to be. Poetry is practically everywhere songs, speeches, lists, even to the little things you jot down thinking they fail to mean anything and yet we fail to realize it because most idiots think it’s on the lines of “the lazy cat spent his whole day on the mat” (I know that’s an awful example but you get my point okay!…)

Anyway, lately I’ve been reflecting an awful lot and trying to grasp my head around so many different aspects of my life, which only means one thing – I write an awful lots of thoughts and poetry if you like. So I thought I’d pluck up the courage to search for something I could share with you all. (Plus it changes up the blog a bit ey?) Enjoy.

If acceptance is all that is left,

then I shall,

I shall grasp it with both worn shaken hands,

until they cannot possibly connect anymore.


Palms shall only burn,

As I have discovered on my paths the hard way,

that this is a ‘cruel to be kind’ matter –

a state that can only be undone through the given strength of determination.


It shall fall upon me,

the day a reflection ends all control towards my dis-formed mind.

I shall float down the winding street, with not even a reassuring check,

from the shoppers windows that once suffocated me.



there should be no need for your fragile fingertips

to disgustingly grasp

the itty gritty parts in which you have self taught in hating.


You deserve sparkles of more than falling tears,

more than screaming echo’s,

which appear due to your thighs size

in the pinching of your own skin.


In’s and outs, ups and downs from a souls and enlightenment of fires,

fires we should accept the warmth within,

not fights that continuously burn deep,

leaving it’s blinding ashes behind scattered to haunt us.


It is taught to embrace ones beauty,

yet involving a voice in which contemplates,

the hazed lines between lies,

and the truth.


Speak soon,

Holl xxx




TopShop is my weakness

Hello Sweet Peas,

I’m a shopping addict. Yes, you already know that and judging by that first line you’ll know I’ve got a cheeky little haul on the way for you and of course by the title I bought the cutest outfit from good old Top Shop (with a splash of Primark of course, I mean who can resist?)









  • Top – TopShop £10
  • Jeans – TopShop Leigh Jeans £38
  • Scarf – Primark £4
  • Rings – Primark £2/3

My my my, I literally adore this outfit and got home completely satisfied. I started out my day basically demanding and avoiding the whole of TopShop (Willpower women!…) because I knew my wardrobe was crying for new jeans and of course I’m loving the ripped knee craze at the moment – so I gave in.

I am one for personal style and I go with what I like and what perceives me and I like to reflect who I am through my fashion an awful lot (a blog post soon to come about that) however ripped jeans has always been a favorite of mine, so hey we shall go with that.

After being extremely indecisive on color, I tried these on and my god absolutely loved them, I would high recommended TopShop Leigh jeans to anyone as they always fit perfectly and I find our the comfiest.  And of course when trying on I needed a top to try, so I picked up this one not really thinking twice about it yet when I tried it I basically couldn’t say no. It’s light, comfy and perfect for the end of Summer up coming Autumn season, I also loved the grey as it’s a colour I don’t usually go for but I think a new season indicates a bit of a change. £10 is a tad on the pricey side but so worth it I say, so I shall most certainly be having a cheeky purchase on the other colours. Plus the top worked really well with the jeans, there was no questioning to it…

After resisting allowing myself to broke in the wonders of TopShop as I promised I was only going for the jeans… I headed to to many other shops crying at prices but then couldn’t help but make a little purchase in Primark (I mean I can stretch to that right?… Haha) With Autumn coming up (Yes, I plan ahead in the fashion world… ooppsie) I’m quite liking the idea of patterned scarfs and black leather jackets because who doesn’t love a leather jacket? They’re like my life saver to polish off an outfit. Well, to my luck Primark were literally scarf galore! And this one straight away caught my eye because of the turquoise, as I had only just picked up the rings that quite wonderfully match and finish off the whole outfit. Then I was completely satisfied because rather than buying load of bits I wanted but didn’t need, I’d put together and outfit, in which I can tweak as I please.

I’m loving the whole new season ranges coming in this year for Autumn, the colours seem to be straight forward, whites, greys, blacks and burgundy’s which suit me completely, so I’m really looking forward to having a play around with some outfits. Then I’ll be ready for summer all over again..

So I was a very satisfied Hollie!

Next on my long list is a light Autumn jacket/coat and boots! If I buy anything before that slap my wrists, haha.

Speak soon,

Holl xxx



The beach is my second home

Hello sweet peas,

I’m here to share another one of my lovely family days out with you and to the place I consider home (I’ve always aspired to be a mermaid, secretly) yes you guessed, the beach!

Anywhere where there is sand and a calming sea to satisfy all my thoughts away pleases me greatly.



Me, mumma, Ella, Nana and my uncle all decided a family day out to chill out at the beach was needed, as we are all indeed great lovers of the sunshine. We don’t live too far away luckily, so after only a 1 and half hour drive we finally arrived and quite quickly set up for a wonderful lazy day with a beautifully clear sky and sea. I’m also the worlds biggest book worm so of course I had to bring a fabby read with me, I bought “One Day”, I’ve just started reading this book as I absolutely adored the film. It is taking me a bit to get into but so far I’m actually really enjoying getting to read and experience parts they couldn’t show in the film.


I also loved spending time with my little sister because oh boy the busy life of that one 12 year old astonishes me. I never ever see her anymore. Never the less we shall always be incredibly close and it was such a lovely thing to be able to have a catch up and a good old sing on the way (me and my sister jamming to frozen is always one of my happiest things in life) I actually love being able to watch my sister grow into a young woman and I cherish in being her older sister, in hoping she looks up to me, that would be wonderful.




The ability just to escape reality and enjoy a day away from the daily tasks and aspects of life is so great when you spend the day with your toes in the sand. “Life at the beach it better” as I always say, almost as if looking right down at the sea beyond all them miles – you’re free.



I also conquered one of my biggest fears that day and felt extreme achievements – for the first time in 3 years I faced having an ice cream and out in public. It was most certainly one of the scariest things I’ve done, yet another step forward to a happier and healthier life. I don’t want to be deprived from the tiniest pleasures in life and I’m working on it. It just takes a hell lot of will power and determination with a dash of stubbornness – and if you know me you shall be very aware or my stubbornness…



Happiness is so much more important than stresses, worries and fears in life and I want you all to remember this, day in day out.

Speak soon,

Holl xxx


What if tomorrow didn’t exsist?

Hello sweet peas,

I hope you are well and enjoying the lovely sunshine in that Britain has finally provided us with, I know I am at long last however I am half expecting the usual rain to hit us anytime soon.

I’m out to make this short but sweet and take a moment to share this song with you in which I’ve grown to really love. It’s a new song by Sia who I’ve actually always liked however I hadn’t properly listened to this song because I wasn’t too keen at the start but after finally listening, I realized how much I adored the lyrics.

“I’m going to live like tomorrow doesn’t exist”

This lyric in particular caught my attention, as I caught myself in a little daze over analyzing it (Please tell me I’m not the only one who does this… haha)

I like it never the less and I think I can really apply it to a lot in my life at the moment. I find I live too much in the “what if..” rather than trust what I feel right this second. “What if this goes wrong”, “What if tomorrow I feel fat”, “What if tomorrow this food make me gain 20 stone”, “What if tomorrow they won’t talk to me” but what if tomorrow wasn’t to come around? What if just by chance tomorrow were to never exist? So think, if this were true, would you really be fussed about the message you just sent yet suddenly regret or the slice of chocolate cake you failed to challenge yourself to. If tomorrow isn’t there then why in the hell would it matter because you’d focus on enjoying now, you wouldn’t be contemplating what the next 24 hours would supposedly bring. You’d be living.

That’s what I want to try and attempt, I want to live this moment like in the next waking it weren’t to matter. I want to attempt at trying to loose the thoughts that every little move I make today impacts massively on my thoughts, feelings and actions the next day. I want to live, embrace and enjoy now because in all honesty that’s all that really matters (yes I know this sounds cheesy but it’s true)

Who cares if you gain a lb in one night? It’s probably water weight.

Who cares if you say the wrong thing and he never talks to you again? You can’t please everyone.

Who cares if you don’t do everything on your ‘to do’ list? You’re only human.

I mean think of reality, being very close to loosing life and feeling like I had lost life, truly we don’t know that tomorrow is going to come around at all.

Lets just stop and be happy.

Speak soon,

Holl xxx

Slightly tea obsessed…..

Hello Sweet Peas,

Oh today the post man most certainly made me an extremely happy girl! Taking in account when he dropped off my parcel he laughed and said “Best pop the kettle on”.

Yes, I got a fabulous twining’s delivery and yes I got a tad over excited towards this, good old mumma (I’m not sorry in the slightest)

And no I really didn’t just have a 20 minute conversation about tea…





See how bloody amazing this is?! I discovered the twinings website and was completely in my element. 70 different tea bags, including many of my favorites: Pepper mint, Lemon and ginger, and carmalised apple. And many many new ones for my taste buds to discover: Buttermint, Mango and Strawberry, and Liquorice. I’m in tea heaven. (Oh god I sound sad….. Haha)

Plus the lovely glass jar for just £17.50, I mean how good is that for value ey? So if you’re a tea lover like myself be sure to get yourself onto the twinings wonderful website.

So I’m most certainly off to dip my hand in and pick one to my surprise….

Speak soon,

Holl xxx

The path to self confidence

Hello Sweet Peas,

“You were wild once. Don’t let them tame you.”




I’m not one huge for quotes as such however this one shall forever be my favorite. I love it and it’s quirkiness, common you can’t disagree! It’s one I apply to not just huge situations but to my day to day life most days.

I’ve been contemplating writing this post for a while now, as at times I feel I could be slightly hypocritical, as I’ve always been known as not the most confident of people. Looking at the younger me, I was the quiet, more vulnerable, shy girl who was most certainly scared to ‘speak up’  for what she felt or wanted. Yet that’s how I discovered my love for expressing myself through pen and paper and good old literature of course, yet again it was simply another thing I failed to believe I could ever achieve.

I’ve grown however and into someone who strongly believes that fears shouldn’t be crafty and stand in the way of you ever reaching for something you want. So looking back and at how far I’ve actually come as a person, I thought, why shouldn’t I write this post? I could pass my techniques and ideas onto someone’s benefit – so here I am.

Confidence comes in all different forms really – body image, completing daily tasks, goals and dreams, or even down to simply a conversation with someone new. We all have our very own strengths and weaknesses in different aspects of life and of course it’s good to accept that, that is okay because I can express to you now how god damn healthy that is – everyone struggles.

It’s takes an awful lot to begin overcoming fears, challenging ourselves and supplying yourself with confidence – if it isn’t always there naturally (and if it is always there, then well done, because I think you cracked life.. haha)

However do I believe it can be learned, practiced and improved gradually. If you have already signed the deed in deciding you are the ‘shy’ ‘un-confident’ type who cannot achieve your huge dreams or wear that dress because it doesn’t ‘suit you’, stop right there, that’s not you and it should never detirmine what you want. I’ve learned that, (I’m no professional but I’ve tried) – So I want to share some of my ‘tips’ with you.

  1. Negative and Positive balance –

It’s human nature to allow our brains to jump head first straight to the negative aspects and thoughts of a situation. It’s normal and okay when you can focus on some fabby positives also however when you begin to completely dismiss any positive and hope at all, well then it appears a problem. It’s all about balance – too much positivity would be incredibly weird but none at all just leads you to complete misery. But how do you possibly begin to weigh out these thoughts?

You can apply this ‘balancing out’ in any self confidence matter however a big issue I and many others face is worrying and anxiety, in which affects daily decisions, tasks and events massively. After years, my anxiety has surprisingly improved since I start mastering this technique and all it takes is practice!

You have to begin to argue back against the negative thought, and a good way to start is by creating a chart or writing it down. Start with writing the negative thought or comment, for example – “I don’t want to go out with them, they don’t really want me there” “I can’t wear that dress, it makes my bum look HUGE!!!!” “I can’t possibly speak in that presentation, I’m too shy, I’d mess up” .

Then make a second column (and this is the hard part)…. the opposite positive thought. For example – “I could actually have a great time, they asked me to come and they didn’t have to, of course they want me there” “This dress actually makes me legs look amazinggggg!!” “I’ll find speak in the presentation difficult but if I never try I’ll never know, it could go brilliantly and I’m going to get the job”

Try and think of more and more positives, and the more you search for the easier it’ll get – it’s perfectly normal to receive the anxiety and worrying thoughts but once you learn to start balancing them out, you’ll find life runs more smoothly. It’s like carrying two shopping bags, if ones heavier then the other eventually you’ll be weighed down. Yet if they’re even, you can walk out the shop satisfied with them gorgeous new pair of shoes you just bought for your date tonight 😉

      2. Don’t assume everyone you meet thinks badly of you –

When you’re different, sometimes you don’t see the millions of people who accept you for what you are. All you notice is the person who doesn’t”

I don’t want to say the usual ‘Don’t care about what people think about you’ because even I know that’s way too difficult, again due to today’s society, it’s only normal to do so.

Yet over time I’ve taught myself something along the same lines but tricked my mind slightly, instead of not caring at all, I say “stop assuming they’re thinking badly”

You can sometimes be making someone for the first time or simply walking down the street and start to assume the craziest of ideas – “They’re staring at me, they must think I’m fat” “Do I have something on my face” “I didn’t say the right think, god they must think I’m stupid” “They didn’t even smile at me, they must hate me” “I bet they thought I looked a mess” Okay, you get the point I could go on forever here…. But, did you ever stop to think about how we are all doing the same thing? We are all worried about what we are thinking about each other, so really it’s just a vicious circle. Also, on my balancing line again, isn’t there just as much chance that someone is thinking positively towards you rather than negative? They could be contemplating how amazing your hair looks or questioning where you got your top from because they love the design. Never jump to the conclusion that what you feel about yourself is actually what the rest of the world sees. As soon as you perfect that, you find yourself forgetting about people around you and enjoying life.


     3. Learn to trust yourself before others –

“As soon as you trust yourself, you will learn how to live”

Of course I know the importance of trusting loved ones and others around you however I find learning to actually trust yourself gives you far more possibilities in life. Lets look at it in the aspect of goals and dreams. Most of us have this strong belief that we aren’t ‘good enough’ to achieve something or we’d never make it, it’s easy for me to sit here and say start believing in yourself obviously yet why can’t we? Because we simply accept criticism in the wrong context.

When someone tells you that you can’t, use that as a drug and let it take you way beyond the highs of proving you actually can! Trust that something you have an actual passion in is something you can shine to the world, whether it be acting, writing, singing, dancing, running, swimming or flipping sky diving! Bloody do it!

        4. Surround yourself with supportive people –

This one is actually quite obvious, yet we still fail to achieve it. If there is someone that doubts you or doesn’t provide you with a positive radiance and vibe, why are you wasting your time with them? Or worse trying to please them! It’s the same with things we watch, read and listen to, why do we watch things or read blogs or comments that simply make us feel worse about ourselves?

Instead surround yourself with people and things that please you and make you a happier person. It’s a wonderful feeling being with someone, doing something you love and simply forgetting the rest of the world because you can simply enjoy the situation you are in – you are happy.

For example my dog – I love the little bugger.


      5. Try something new and practice it

“If your comfort zone is misery, it’s time to get uncomfortable”

I believe stepping out of your comfort zones is beyond useful for confidence. I constantly whether I am happy or not will become so used to something and then begin to fear it ever changing it or even trying something different – even if it is going to make me happy because I still have the doubt it won’t. We fear the unknown so we settle for our comforts, in most cases aren’t what we wish for.

Personally I struggle with new people, not talking to them but getting close and letting people in, I’d rather people just see the surface of me instead of the ins and outs. Yet more and more over the past few months I’m attempting letting people in, being more open about myself and appearing confident. Believe me it’s far more attractive to be simply proud of who you are rather than them finding out later on..

Try something new, big or small, important or not, just try it because you have no clue of the out come. You’ll never find confidence if you stick to what you’re comfortable with. Take a risk, today, now, do it.

And practice….. Practice everything I have stated, of course I am no professional but over time and years of practice I am finding self confidence is coming to me more and more each day. I used to be scared of wearing what I wanted, being who I wanted and saying what I wanted but truthfully I’m not anymore. Confidence doesn’t come over night and I’ll never be high on the confidence scale but with time and working on yourself and how you view things, I can assure you it gets a lot easier. Just don’t give up.

I hope you all enjoyed this post and a big thank you to my mum for becoming the photographer 😉 because I felt extremely happy today and the sun was shining, why not become a model? Haha. Have this attractive one to sum up the post…….. (I wasn’t ready at all..ha)


Speak soon,

Holl xxx

The inner writer – 10 days of writing 9 &10

Hello Sweet Peas,

I’m being super kind and giving you the last two days of my little writing challenge in one! Well it’s the least I could do due to my slacking and I have to admit yesterdays blog post wasn’t as good as it could have been, but hey we can’t be perfect all the time right?

Anyway on and extra fabby brilliant note, I reached 100 followers and 3,000 views, wahey! To myself that’s such a massive achievement as when I first created this blog I never even imagined  or procrastinated that one person would stumble across my blog, never mind 3,000! Over the past few months I’ve actually had so many lovely comments in how I’ve helped, impacted and inspired people which to me is the most warming and lovely thing to hear. I aspire to help and inspire at least one person with my writing and to know I’m on my way in achieving that makes me beyond happy.  So, a big thank you to any of you who come back to always read my blog or have stumbled across my little posts and decided to read down my blabbering, it means the world.

Anyway moving on, here’s day 9 & 10;

Regrets- Are there any huge aspects of your life you massively regret?

I’d like to say to you that there is absolutely nothing, ever that I have come to regret – yet if we all did that we’d be liars because sadly without fault we all regret something. I don’t however want to go into a list of things I regret, what good would that do me? or you, I’m feeling positive today. I’m gonna twist this a tad.

Why shouldn’t we regret? (even when we want to…)”


As hard as it is to believe from time to time we just have to be simply reminded that the past is the past, it’s called that for a reason. It’s been and it’s gone and no matter how hard you think, it’ll never again be changed. We get so caught up on recalling the past and aspects of it we come to forget cannot be altered. So? what’s the point in moping and regretting things that have already happened when we could simply enjoy now? well that’s human nature of course.

However if you keep in mind that it cannot be changed, and keep repeating this to yourself despite your beliefs, we can only hope one day as humans we learn to let go a little easier.

Last but not least!!!!!

You – What makes you think you’re so special? A little harsh. But what do you see in yourself? What characteristics do you hide from everyone else?

Self-belief, ooo that dreaded thing for us all. Walking along the wire of confidence is a risky thing to do because within society we have become extremely judgmental towards the idea. Too confident and we are stuck up with a huge ego? Not enough confidence and we are simply attention seeking and unhappy? It’s never right or wrong. No one is ever satisfied.

Personally I think it’s wonderful to have confidence, just obviously not huge amount in that you’re annoying the whole world but I think it’s so important to believe in yourself. I believe the key to other people noticing your happiness and success begins with self-belief. To get anywhere with anything you have to start to realize that you can actually do it rather than relying on the support of others. This may sound harsh but it’s reality.

Writing is a funny old thing and I know so many people over the past year or so have clearly stated it to be a ‘hobby’ or something I’d never achieve in. I think one woman once told me to make a back up plan. I mean how stupid. I’d let out my passion to her, with my heart and soul just to be told how difficult it is to make it? Little did she realize it only made me what it more. That’s what I love about myself, determination. If I want something enough I’ll get there and I’ll make it not for anyone but myself.

I grew up myself believing writing to simply be a hobby, writing story after story admiring famous authors and novelists. It’s like the dream of wanting to act or sing but ending up working in M&S for 50 years (of course no offense if you do, I love M&S, haha) Never the less I never saw it possible. Yet one day I woke and realized it’s what I wanted, so I’m going to do it, just you watch.

I hope you enjoyed me looking a little bit more into myself. I’ve actually enjoyed this little writing challenge, it’s allowed me to focus on expressing things without sounding extremely blabbery and boring…well, I hope so…

I have some different types of posts that I’ve written, a few more hauls and beauty bits and bobs, so I hope you come to enjoy them too!

Speak soon,

Holl xxx