Conflictation

Hello Sweet Peas,

I’m feeling extremely positive today and everything seems to be on the up. So firstly if you just happen to be having an awful hour or one of them days where only the bed seems appealing, I want you to stop for a second and smile. Take a huge breath and remember the world around you is still turning and you are still living and tomorrow is a brand new fresh day. Make the most of it! Do something new and exciting, do something that scares you or something full of spontaneity.

I was stuck in what to base today’s blog post around so, I thought I’d share a little poem with you as recently I’ve been writing more and more poetry and really seem to enjoy it.

Conflicted Thoughts

I don’t want to be caught
In a vagueness of my own insecure haze,
When I grow and my veins purposely entwine,
Logically older and minding fault.

I refuse to continue in the threatening hope,
That miracle shall fall upon,
That I am a specialist,
When I fall down to nothing, in the simple act of breathing.

Humanity overwhelms me.
Steps,
Walks,
Breaths,
Sound,
Forcefully supply me with and average sense of normality, I endlessly refuse to aspire.

You refuse to believe the demons I hold, Believing I’m a saint with no fault,
Do you feel the deceiving pierce?
When the world sees you with purity?
And you know you are scolded with blinded ashes at the core,

Endlessly attempting to accept emotion
That seethes from all,
Yet you prefer the opposite,
You don’t expect clarity, Love, Want,
Only ever craving its persuasions.

Pushing slowly to dismiss the truth,
You fail to control.
I’ll control each particle,
I place through the lips claiming for admiration,
The normal act upon us all day to day,
Finger tips to mouth.

I’ll control the purpose and meaning you have in each hour, because I can.
Protection.
Stopping the hurt you’ll supply me with.

Humanity does this,
Its dishonest perceptions,
And humans? We act it best.

That’s why I am fragile yet as cold as sharp icicles, Coming on the world’s tragic end.
You cannot come close,
I do not believe,
So I strike and melt and fade,
So you no longer have to observe my obsessive ‘phase’

Speak soon,

Holl xxx

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