Conflictation

Hello Sweet Peas,

I’m feeling extremely positive today and everything seems to be on the up. So firstly if you just happen to be having an awful hour or one of them days where only the bed seems appealing, I want you to stop for a second and smile. Take a huge breath and remember the world around you is still turning and you are still living and tomorrow is a brand new fresh day. Make the most of it! Do something new and exciting, do something that scares you or something full of spontaneity.

I was stuck in what to base today’s blog post around so, I thought I’d share a little poem with you as recently I’ve been writing more and more poetry and really seem to enjoy it.

Conflicted Thoughts

I don’t want to be caught
In a vagueness of my own insecure haze,
When I grow and my veins purposely entwine,
Logically older and minding fault.

I refuse to continue in the threatening hope,
That miracle shall fall upon,
That I am a specialist,
When I fall down to nothing, in the simple act of breathing.

Humanity overwhelms me.
Steps,
Walks,
Breaths,
Sound,
Forcefully supply me with and average sense of normality, I endlessly refuse to aspire.

You refuse to believe the demons I hold, Believing I’m a saint with no fault,
Do you feel the deceiving pierce?
When the world sees you with purity?
And you know you are scolded with blinded ashes at the core,

Endlessly attempting to accept emotion
That seethes from all,
Yet you prefer the opposite,
You don’t expect clarity, Love, Want,
Only ever craving its persuasions.

Pushing slowly to dismiss the truth,
You fail to control.
I’ll control each particle,
I place through the lips claiming for admiration,
The normal act upon us all day to day,
Finger tips to mouth.

I’ll control the purpose and meaning you have in each hour, because I can.
Protection.
Stopping the hurt you’ll supply me with.

Humanity does this,
Its dishonest perceptions,
And humans? We act it best.

That’s why I am fragile yet as cold as sharp icicles, Coming on the world’s tragic end.
You cannot come close,
I do not believe,
So I strike and melt and fade,
So you no longer have to observe my obsessive ‘phase’

Speak soon,

Holl xxx

Autumn Tag

Hello Sweet Peas,

Ah I was tagged by the lovely http://jacquelinemorby.co.uk/ to do this tag and I’m rather excited. It’s something a tad different ey!

  1) What’s your favourite seasonal drink from Starbucks/ Costa/ Cafe Nero etc?

I’ve only just begun to get into the Costa vibes (I know late on the band wagon) At the moment I’ve been massively obsessed with the coffee coolers from Costa however they have been my ultimate summer drink and with the cold weather making it’s way, I’ve had to broaden my horizons. So of course I went for the most comforting sounding beverage and one I’ve been dying to try for ages – Gingerbread latte – and now I can quite wonderfully say this is my Christmas drink.

2) Accessories – What do you opt for, scarf, boots, gloves?

Scroll down my blog and you’ll soon realize I’m the biggest scarf lover, especially big fluffy, white ones.

3. Music – What’s your favorite music to listen to during Autumn?

I don’t in particular change my music taste due to season, I listen to pretty much anything and everything whenever I tend to feel like it. Although, I must say as the winter starts to call in… So does the Michel Buble Christmas album… (I have no shame!)

 
4. Perfume – What’s your favourite scent for this time of year?
I hate to admit but I’m awful with perfumes, I pick and choose them like they are flaming underwear. I can never really find a  sent I love and will stick too however one perfume I always ask for towards Christmas is ‘Angel’ by Thierry Mugler. I absolutely adore it.
5. Candles – What scents will you be burning this season?
Cinnamon, cinnamon, CINNAMON! Oh god, If you do happen to know me, you’ll be highly aware 1. I adore candles 2. cinnamon is my favourite sent and taste of all time. I certainly need a cinnamon candle spree! Mmmmmm!
6. What do you love most about Autumn?
The colours, the fashion and of course good old Halloween. It’s all so exciting and something about it creates a warming and comforting feeling. I despise the cold weather but adore boots, jumpers and massive coats. It’s excuse to look like a chubby eskimo right? And of course my beloved onesies, my reindeer onesie has already made a reappearance.
7. Favorite make-up look?
I’m pretty dull with makeup, I tend to stick to neutral and natural shades, unless I’m off somewhere fancy. However as summer is disheartening I’ve been using a few darker, warming browns on my eyelids which I’ve been enjoying. Also, I usually stick safe with my lips, It’s a massive no no NO to ever go dark, yet today I ventured in buying a red lipstick… Ow…
That’s it my chickens, so I hope you enjoyed, I actually really enjoyed doing this slightly different post. Let me know if you want to see a few more like this, as I’ve been thinking about a Q & A post.
I tag – http://angisliving.wordpress.com/ My lovely lil fighter and anyone else who would love to do this!
Autumns a fabby time, so make sure you treat yourself to lots of hot chocolates!
Speak soon,
Holl xxx

The Silence

Standing motionless alone in complete tranquility. The shivers overcoming my spine from chilling droplets one would usually find to be comforting, the way of a wind down from a hectic 24 hours. I beg to differ as the sense of the cold relieves tension built from within, rather than the burning reminders of whom I am. I focus on the numbness that suddenly overcomes me in repetitive shivers. Breathing in and out with ease forcing my mind to phase over a peace, finger tips graze the curves and sharping edges as my mind is rapidly distorted. I search for acceptance. Suddenly falling in my trembles through each step, I phase in and out of a realization of reality. Like a dream the silence begins to swallow me, water droplets transforming into the ocean and each and every particle drowns away.  A tightness is risen in my chest and my aims to block out doesn’t reach any accomplishment, I feel as if the tapping of the tap echos louder, as the walls trap around me. What you’d find peace and ease in this normal, daily action, I discover a striking break down of screams. Terrorizing me as if I were melting I’d still leave the self hatred behind. I hope for the lingering to reach it’s halt, washing away through my own mind.

#OOTD casual rest day

Hello Sweet Peas,

Ah so today was a truly needed rest day, which has to my surprise been a fab way to start my week. I woke with some light yoga (secretly a meditating freak) and had the biggest breakfast as per usual because who dislikes breakfast?!? If you do, I really don’t trust you.

Today me and mumma headed out to pick up her gorgeous new car, so I threw together a quick casual comfy outfit.

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Shirt- New look
Jeans- TopShop Levi’s
Shoes- white leather converse

May I add I purchased the white leather converse the other day from Office and my god, is it possible to be in love with a pair of shoes? Despite the fact I must say that to every pair of converse I buy…

Speak soon,

Holl xxx