Who am I?

Think about it who do you really want to be?

 

It’s a hard question to consider – I know.

 The girl with the slightly hanged head and somewhat drained features is the one which may as well be holding a warning sign right above her head, flashing rapidly claiming – “Do not make human contact with me, many thanks. Not.” She isn’t ever inviting. Yes, you’ll often notice her and she is usually the one that would crave every ounce of attention from any living form.

Or the boy with the bounding full of outstanding confidence and a spring in his step and yet not a care in the world. He doesn’t give the slightest thought to what people may believe of him because despite what they say he will continue in his proceedings. He is the attractor, yet believe it or not he wants a day’s rest from his beloved reputation.

How about the girl who works her ass off just to prove that she is capable of being somebody, that’s her aim. Yet people are intimidated by her strive, knowledge, and determination which gives them all the signs into which they are not good enough.

Strangely when you sit and think about it the world is living in lies. The words in which you speak represent and mean nothing compared to the actions that you make towards the people around you day in and day out. People are bound to judge you by that first smile you make, or the way in which you walk into a room. It’s hardly a judgment fairly made, it seems wrong that to be accepted as a person by another every day you have to be “effortlessly” on your best (mhm, one grumpy face? and you have no bloody chance)

The whole world and human race is completely hypocritical and bonkers I say! Isn’t it us who claim that we should be ourselves? Be you, be you, and be you! Blah, blah, blah, it’s always the same. We stand there and claim that being yourself gets you far in life but does it really? I mean how can it when all we are doing is simply hypocritically judging all of human natures natural creations.

It’s perfectly normal to have one of them daunting clouds above your head one day just as much as it is to be on top of the skies, full gleaming light the next. So, really who the hell are you to stand there and express to a person they aren’t good enough because of a negative approach towards life, the way in which they look or dress, or even to the point of a good gesture.

Thinking my rambling through and submitting it all into a context really it comes back to the question who do you really want to be?

and the truth is, I really have no clue. Yet I feel as if I have to be a certain something in able to be accepted.

I’m not going to sit here inspiring and tell you to “be whoever you want to be” and “to stop making others happy” because despite what I say, I believe as humans we’ve adapted into being able to “Fit In”. Who doesn’t want that really?

So, instead of setting the all too unrealistic goal of being yourself  I’ve had a tiny think into coping through judgement.

Ask yourself – Who do I want to be for my family, my future family, my future partner. Who do I want to be for my children? Who do I want to be for my closest friends?

The people in which look up to you because at some point throughout your time on the planet these people are going to need you, and as you. Think about it, they see you every day or most days. Your children – I’m sure you hope for them to have the best out of life, isn’t that something to strive yourself for? You are also going to find someone, or many someone’s who instantly accept you, love you, and care for you despite your healthy, beauty, personality, weight, color, mood, and traits. From a personal experience I do know how satisfying this can be, so when it starts to maybe fade you fall back into the habit of trying to please them – if this is the case GET THE PERSON OUT OF YOUR LIFE. For Christ sakes. If you manage to proceed in your life to find that however, well done to you, you can stop in making pointless characters in your life happy.

I Imagine myself walking into three rooms.

Number one holds the important beings, ones already playing a huge part in my life, and the ones yet to be. I’d like to believe I can walk into the room, despite mood or appearance, not to be judged. But is that always the case.

Number two holds friends, I mean the groups of friends that even you feel somewhat uncomfortable around. The ones in which are just “there” and ones you could quite easily say good riddance to. and think about it do these people really care about you? Are these the ones in which judge you so less simply because they couldn’t care less?

Lastly, a room full of people you don’t know. Brand new people, people you could be finding great wonders with or people you could one day learn to despise. This could be terrifying or extremely exhilarating – really that makes it magical.

I’ll leave you with that, which one daunts you the most – and really I think that exclaims to you a lot of truth.

Speak soon,

Holl.

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