Dear body.. – I’m sorry

Okay, so maybe I am cheating slightly, but shhh! Yesterday when finally having a sit down for my caffeine fix and a cheeky flick through cosmetic magazine, I came across something that touched me rather a lot. It was a section called “Dear Body..” , where 4 beautiful women had participated in writing a letter to their own body.

Okay, that probably sounds bizarre however it really inspired me – the first woman had been a marathon runner for the past 5 years and had trained, and had mentally and physically exhausted her body. The second was a lovely lady who discovered self admiration when she was pregnant. The third was a woman who’s insecurities has led her to gastric bands and self harm and the last woman was disabled and fights her way through life with only one arm. Each one of them brilliant wrote their letters on a discovery path into loving their bodies.

Now, for a while I have been battling and eating disorder and that isn’t something I tend to declare, so columns weight or body related in magazines are something I tend to avoid however I was highly inspired. So, here it goes…

Dear Body….

It is extremely clear that I am sorry. I am trying my hardest to make it up to you in any possible way I can – I hope one day I can.

If we were two different people, you’d surely hate me, and they say hate is a strong word. The sad thing is you have reason to hate me and I have no reason to hate you. You serve so many wonderful purposes. You allow me to survive each day, keeping me alive and breathing and what am I doing? only depriving you from these abilities. 

I believe every single one of us as human beings are not grateful in the slightest towards the most simplest things in life – like a tiny ability but ever so large such as breathing. I take you for granted. You have enabled me to be a being in this world, day in and day out, and all I do is despise everything in which you are not rather than love what you are.

I remember the times in which I have felt content with myself, and you, and thought “Hey, I actually love you body ;-)” – because I truly believe that along the path of self hate and destruction we loose knowledge in allowing yourself to feel passionate towards your own body.

I mean common! What living right do I have to despise you in ways that I do? I have none. You have never harmed me or caused such cruelty. Only given me life.

So, looking positivity at the concept I would like to thank-you for allowing me to complete some wonders throughout my time on the planet.  Like the fact you allowed me to become a runner when I had be the most unhealthy idiot all of my life 😉 OR the ability to be a child, to run and jump and climb a bloody tree (IGNORING the fact I was always the girl who could never actually climb a tree…..)

I want to thank you in allowing me to dance and sing at Christmas parties, thank you for my ability to swim and to ride a bike, the ability to shop for 8 hours straight, the ability to travel and see beautiful places around the world.

Thank you for allowing me to see and to breathe. Thank you for allowing me to be me, because without you, I wouldn’t be me. I know the famous saying “it’s on the inside to what counts” – however without your wonderful abilities in keeping me striving, there would be no chance to discover the inside.

I’m trying to allow you in being yourself again, and I know it is hard right now, but we’ll strive through this because after all of these years can we shake hands?

Can we try to be friends.

All my love,

Hollie.

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